I recently had the pleasure of working with a couple preparing for a major home renovation. It’s exciting to think about how great things will feel and look once the renovations are complete. However, a renovation creates a lot of chaos and disturbance, along with an overwhelming number of decisions. These decisions include color palettes, wood finishes, layouts, and the overall flow of the home. Additionally, there are choices to make about what to store, what to keep, and what to let go of.
Not all the time, but sometimes when couples start organizing they have different views on what’s important to keep or toss. During a renovation, for example, deadlines can intensify the pressure of making these decisions, which may lead to frustration and arguments between partners.
Believe it or not, I often become a mediator when couples need help getting organized. I listen to both sides and remain an unbiased participant, equipped with knowledge of the project’s vision and goals and the experience of many other renovations under my belt. This makes me a valuable asset in the renovation process, helping to maintain peace and achieve everyone’s objectives. I genuinely enjoy this role, as I feel comfortable communicating with both parties and ensuring that everyone feels heard.
Often, when organizing couples, one person may be reluctant to part with something while the other is ready to let it go. Each individual expresses their feelings in different ways—some may make a small joke, while others might appear grumpy without explanation or ask about specific items. Regardless of the method, it’s crucial to ensure that everyone involved feels heard. I make it a point to say, “It seems like something is bothering you. Are you willing to share your thoughts with me?”
Once everyone feels safe to express their concerns, we can start to find solutions. Additionally, once they understand that I’m not there to throw everything away, conversations become much easier. Often, the underlying issue is a lack of vision or understanding of the end result. For example, one partner might see someone setting aside a dresser for disposal and immediately worry about losing valuable storage space for sweaters, pajamas, shirts, and more. Once they learn the plan for organizing those items, they realize they are actually gaining space, which will improve their storage needs and make it easier to put things away. As a result, everyone ends up happy.
Conversely, one partner may struggle to let go of an item because it belonged to a family member. This is understandable, as sentimental items often hold more emotional value than practical value. In such cases, we discuss options. We can repurpose the item in another part of the home, give it to a family member, donate it thoughtfully to someone in need, photograph it to preserve its legacy, or simply allow the client some time to think it through—often, that’s all they need.
Collaborating with couples provides numerous benefits that many people often overlook. For instance, one partner may excel at decision-making while the other tends to feel overwhelmed by choices. One partner may excel at envisioning the big picture but struggle with the details. By recognizing these strengths, we can divide responsibilities accordingly. This collaborative approach can help the couple successfully achieve significant goals. I find it beneficial to identify each partner’s strengths so that I can assist in assigning tasks that align with their individual personalities.
When you and your partner decide it’s time to declutter or renovate, hiring a professional organizer can work wonders! It can also provide the added benefit of having a mediator. Who knew?
For additional tips, check out my blog post titled “How to Declutter Your Home When Your Family Isn’t on Board.“
