Several months ago, I worked in a playroom with two members of my team. Two children used the space, a boy and a girl, approximately 10 and 12 years old. During my assessment, the client described her children, explained how she wanted the playroom to look, and pointed out where she felt they needed the most help, as well as the many ways they had already tried to organize it. The room looked typical to us. It was full and disorganized, but nothing we hadn’t seen before.
The day of our session as my team and I sorted, we found a microscope, science projects, science books, and toys related to earth science and astronomy. Our initial assumption was that these science items belonged to the son, but we quickly caught ourselves. Why did we assume that? We also found costume dresses and dolls and instinctively assumed they belonged to the daughter. We began to realize that our assumptions were shaping our approach to organizing the room. Although I’d already reviewed the space with the client and felt fairly confident in our guesses, I knew I could have missed some cues during the assessment. More importantly, we recognized that we need to be more mindful of gender bias.
One of my team members had a similar experience years earlier with a boy who liked to wear dresses. While working in his bedroom, they started finding dresses in the piles of clothes on his floor. Their first thought was that his sister’s clothes had ended up in his room. But after further thought, they realized the dresses actually belonged to him. They were grateful they hadn’t asked pointed questions or made quick assumptions that might have been offensive. If they had assumed the dresses belonged to the daughter and moved them to her room, it could have come across as judgmental and potentially damaged the relationship with the client.
We also have assumptions made about us. For example, we frequently work in garages and basements where there are many tools. Because we are a team of women, people often give us side-eye when we agree to organize these items. They assume we don’t know what the tools are for and that we won’t be able to organize them properly. In these spaces, we often hear comments like, “Do you know what these tools are for?” In reality, we’re very knowledgeable about tools and have extensive experience using them.
We’re often in situations where we need to be sensitive to assumptions about gender (among many other things) and we must choose to lead with curiosity instead. For example, asking, “Why is this dress in here?” might sound judgmental and could make someone feel defensive or criticized. That response doesn’t support the purpose of our being there. Instead, the person may shut down, withdraw, and lose sight of their goal of getting organized.
Alternatively, we might say, “Tell me more about this pile of clothes on your floor so I can fully understand your needs.” This kind of statement opens the door to communication and collaboration. If we’re working with a boy and a dress appears in the pile, treat it as you would for any girl: start a separate pile for dresses and continue sorting. If you need to dig deeper to help organize their space, you can gently ask, “How and when will you wear this?” Be especially mindful of your tone and ask with genuine curiosity.
In either case, if the dress doesn’t belong to the boy, they can simply laugh at the mix-up, and you can laugh along with them. If it does belong to him, he’s more likely to feel comfortable expressing himself because you’ve treated his choice as something you already accept. This approach helps everyone feel at ease and keeps the focus on reaching your shared goals.
As professional organizers, our primary goal is to help clients achieve their goals. When we create hurdles because of our own biases or assumptions, we make the job more difficult and work against our purpose. Complicating the process for any client directly conflicts with the reason we were hired: to help make their lives easier, not harder. I’m a strong advocate for making sure every client we work with feels free to express themselves and never feels judged. I can’t imagine hiring someone, welcoming them into my home, only to discover they’re judging me. That’s why my team and I are intentional about keeping each other in check around our biases and assumptions. This commitment keeps our approach genuine, caring, and truly welcoming.
If it’s important to you to work with an organizer who provides respectful and inclusive service to diverse populations, please call Sara Jane Organizing. We offer FREE phone consultations. Schedule one by clicking here!
